As I write this, it is 9:22 pm. My son’s typical bed time is around 8 pm. I just put him down to sleep 10 minutes ago.
Our play room looks like this.
I didn’t get to the workout I had planned to do when I put him to bed. I didn’t pack our stuff for this weekend. I didn’t do the dishes. I didn’t do the 10 other things running through my mind.
What I did do is sat with my son and watched Despicable Me the whole way through and put my phone down to enjoy the slow down and relaxed with him.
The intention was to put it on before his bedtime to wind down a little but we both got sucked in.
I had to and am still reminding myself it is okay to slow down.
I’m not good at it. My anxiety is high and mind are racing knowing I put things off BUT I slowed down and truly relaxed with my little man.
We sat and forgot all those worries for a little. I even watched this nugget hop off my lap and show me his best dance moves with the last scenes. THAT made my night and the entire time slowing down truly worth it.
Remember, it is okay to slow down, mama. It will all be there tomorrow.
My son is developing quite a personality as all kids do while they grow. I believe more things are learned from daycare than I even realize. What I don’t want to admit is that I see my personality in him with these little tantrums. (ay yai yai, little guy!)
I still remember how I would grunt in shear anger at my mom if I did not get my way and stomp my feet. Boy, if he does that, my mother will have a field day laughing at me.
I have mentioned he began hitting me in a post a little while back. Well, that is getting more frequent when he is angry or denied a request of his.
I have reached out to friends of mine that work with child development to ask what we should do to correct this since they handle situations similar on a regular basis.
Their answers were consistent and was not what I was hoping to hear.
Ignore it and redirect his attention. Obviously, stop his tiny hands from injuring me too since he’s got quite a strong arm.
I have referred to him recently to a friend of mine as a sour patch kid. He is just that. He is the sweetest little man, snuggles his mom and only wants me at times. Then when I say no or do not provide the demand he wants we begin smacking aggressively.
My husband asked when this all started where he would have learned it from. It is part of development and showing his frustration and potentially maybe daycare, but not certain there since I am not there.
I think the hardest part of it all is learning with him. We have to learn how to handle ourselves and handle the situation. I know other parents deal with this as well and every child is different with their tantrums.
I struggle to not verbally correct him when this happens. I will hold his little hand and take a moment to breathe, though my completely expressive face shows how I am feeling, and then try to either take him to another area or set him down without a reaction.
When I say struggle, I really do. It is a reaction to want to verbally correct him and it is going to take time to continue to learn how to handle the “sour” moments with him.
No parent is perfect and I am learning every day with him!
I want to ask other parents their strategies and tips on handling the sour patch kid moments. What is it that has worked for you and your children to deescalate a tantrum or defer the hitting/smacking that comes from anger? Send them my way!