Posted in Mom life, Two Cents Worth of...

No, No, No

Here we are, in the “NO” zone with my just about 2-year-old and I hate it.

This morning, I opened his bedroom door and said, “Good Morning!” as I always do. Normally there is no response, but today, I heard a stern, “no.”

Sure, we all feel that when our alarms go off each morning before work. This was a great example of how he is knee deep into using this word daily! I’m also not as chipper as that text may read to you when I say my good morning to him.

There is no sugar coating this phase because it’s hard and we don’t know exactly how to correct it. We know every kid goes through it though and it’s not simply the Terrible Twos everyone loves to tell me are coming. *eye roll*

Truly, I think it’s getting worse before it gets better. Which is how most scenarios work, right?

I’ve offered to give him away. (Anyone who doesn’t understand that and is judging me, move along.)

The face when he says “No” to dinner. Life isn’t ALL smiles all the time, people.

Reality is we’re stuck here for a moment until we figure it out. I have searched on what we can do as well as reached out to friends who work with children regularly to help me know what other things we can try.

I find myself being extremely frustrated with him. More than I’d like to admit to but I’m human and it’s exhausting. He’s exhausting because he has mom’s stubborn and persistent side that I knew would be coming for me to handle and deal with.


One of my closest friends works with kids daily in her job so she was someone I reached out to when I felt like we had hit a wall and who could provide some tips for us to try.

Below are a few of the items we discussed trying in the next few weeks to ease our stress and direct him out of this phase. Maybe they’ll help another parent going through this phase at the same time as we are.

  • Changing the trend. He is used to getting away with things for so long, that we have to stand firm when we ask something of him and follow through. Do not allow that long rope as we have done before. He will learn the new pattern after some time.
  • Rewarding the behavior or words that you want and ignoring the negative. Give over the top praise or big celebrations so it is very clear that what he did was good, and we’ll hope that he repeats again.
  • Provide choices to him. They feel that they have a little more control when provided a decision to make on their own.
  • Ask him to help a lot. Instead of saying, “it’s time to clean up” ask them instead to help me and try to make a game of it for them.
  • Favorite one is to always redirect. Quoting her here, “it’s my go to for when we’re stuck on the “no” merry go round.” By telling them, “Let’s do this” instead of “do you want to…” can help.
  • Last resort is to send to the grandparent’s house. 😊

I’ve already told my mom that she may have a new house guest if he keeps it up! She has no problem with that, but of course that’s not how it works for us.

We’ll keep pushing through these tough days of his phase and hope that the tips given work. We as parents do need to work together on this too so we’re on the same page giving him the same reactions and actions from each of us.

To be fair to this sour patch kid of mine right now does have the biggest heart for his mama. He gets me flowers when we’re outside and gives me the sweetest hugs when he sees I’ve hit my limit with him. Not before I’ve heard about 300 “no’s” though.

Send some hugs our way and hope we make it through unscathed! 😉

Posted in Mom life

Things Not Told in Parenting Books: Early Toddler Edition

As a new parent, you’ve either read books suggested to you, googled anything you think of, found blogs on Pinterest, or been given all of the unsolicited advice you never asked for.

Shoot, I still google things related to what my son is going through. We all know Google is extremely reliable… I am joking, of course.

What most people don’t tell you is the real shit that happens when your kids are here and how they will be. I love sharing the stories with friends so we can laugh together about what has happened knowing they have their own to share with me too.

Kids are unpredictable. Whether they go through the same developmental milestones or not, they each have a personality someone cannot write about for you.

But I can share with you what my son has done that was not told to me but I can now save in my memory and write it out for you to see his antics and hopefully laugh along with us.

Things Not Told in Parenting Books: Early Toddler Edition

  • Your kid will throw things in the trash thinking they’re helping. Really, he just tossed his baby monitor and you’ll only know if it’s on and the battery is dying. Then it’s a game of hide and seek toddler style. This is done while he is napping too so you can’t ask for his help, as if it would have been any assistance. It doesn’t end there. Other items that don’t make noise also find their way to the trash and it’s a game of luck if you find it. If you don’t find it, plan to blame your spouse for throwing it out because that’s the obvious logical thing to do!

  • You will go to get something from your deep freeze and find all items are thawed. You quickly yell to your husband that something is wrong with the freezer panicking over what items you’re going to lose because it’s too warm to put it all in a cooler and store outside while you wait to buy a new one. Then he investigates and realizes a small human turned the knob controlling the temperature to 0 because it’s on his short leg level. Now we cross our fingers it freezes and everything was still cold enough and is not ruined. Update to that event: everything was a-okay! We also installed a toddler proof mechanism… duct tape.

  • When you’re hungover from enjoying an adult night with friends trying to nap on the couch, the savage will find you. They are sweet and cute when you feel fine and dandy with no headache. The minute you fall asleep from the awful feeling over being over 30 and drinking too much he will throw a rubber bottom slipper at your face and get a direct hit on your nose then smile at you when you wake up. Along with this same time of attempting to become human again while still on the couch, they get as close to your face as possible and yell “MAMA!” just to be sure you’re alive and still there to pay attention to them. That same shitty smile will appear when your eyes pop open out of fear.

  • They will have accidents in the tub and/or shower. It’s inevitable. Our son quickly stood from his bath a while back signing “all done” to my husband and he couldn’t figure out why until he looked over and saw a floating turd. Also, when they’re done in the shower and you place them on the rug while you turn for .2 seconds to grab a towel they will begin to pee on the rug. You’ll panic and say “whoa, whoa, whoa” scaring them to a stop and quickly hop them to the toilet to finish. Remind yourself, the rugs are washable or replaceable for cheap.

  • You’ll plan for him to have dinner in front of the TV on his tray table of chicken nuggets, fries and ketchup, peacefully. He gets excited at the movie scene and flips the tray guaranteeing the ketchup lands straight down on your light colored rug. You stay calm, clean up what you can and continue to remind him, calmy, not to touch the spilled ketchup. Emphasizing calmly because every ounce of you did not want to clean up red ketchup. He claps once its clean and proceeds to finish his hopefully 5 second rule safe dinner. The next day you use your Oxiclean concoction to clean the stain.

But when you’re winding down for bedtime, he will sit in your lap all snuggled in. He will grab your hands and hold them, then put them against his face while you kiss his perfect head. The whole world stops and it’s perfect in the moment. Every moment he had to test your patience and handle the unknown moment will fade.

No book ever prepares you. No other parent’s advice will prepare you. Only you trusting your gut and instincts will allow you to be able to handle each and every situation.

You are their parents and their antics will make you laugh, smile, cry and be frustrated. They’re still perfect and so are you, as the beautiful mess each day brings. Trust the process.

Posted in Mom life, Two Cents Worth of...

Communication

Lately our son has been saying more words. It’s quite fun to have him attempt to repeat us and see how fast he picks up on a word… or doesn’t. His little mouth tries so very hard to pronounce the words we say to him.

Our favorite right now is “cookie.” I’ve been baking and he helps me, well, makes a mess while I make them. He has been asking for them since he sees them cooling and now my husband and I know a new language, toddler. He says “ckck-ckk” or something of the sort. It makes smile and laugh every time he says it but he continues to try again and again.

Since he has been growing and understanding things we have always tried to ask him to tell us what he wants when he begins his toddler jibberish. We ask him to show us and we will follow since obviously he isn’t fully aware of words or how to say them correctly.

When we ask him to show us or tell us it helps our communication. While we both may not know exactly what it is, he knows we are trying to help him rather than allow the tantrums to progress.

Truly, he understands quite a bit that we say and ask of him. He loves a task and having something to complete on his own. He will put his clothes in the hamper, sometimes confused with trash. Whoops. But he likes to throw things away too. He also really LOVES to cook meals and have us try them in his play kitchen. One of my personal favorites.

We know communicating with children isn’t the easiest for anyone but we do what we can as their parents. The best thing we ever did was teach him baby sign language when he was teeny tiny. I really didn’t have high expectations for it because well, I am a first time mom and only heard about it. How did i know it would be so beneficial to us? We worked at it and kept at it consistently. It has paid off for us all!

He says quite a few that really helps eliminate frustration among all of us and to help him get what he wants easier without as many tantrums. He can sign milk, water, more, all done, please, and thank you.

While that did help us and still does, we are enjoying the new stage of him learning his words vocally. I may regret that statement later on. 😉

My favorite part of communication with my son is laughter. He has the very best belly laugh that makes my entire world stop. He loves when we laugh at him and he begins to laugh more.

No one needs to know what you’re saying when you’re all laughing.

And right now, that’s the best thing we can do.