#smile – Two Cents Worth of Mom Life

Bomb Squad

Posted on March 3, 2022 by Carly Caracciolo

I’ve come to the conclusion parents of toddlers could all be viable candidates for the bomb squad. Parents of any age kid actually. All phases bring new tactics.

If you know, you know.

If not, let me explain my thoughts.

These tiny humans are elite explosive devices. They can be triggered at any second. At times they appear to be no harm and an innocent matter. But always destructive when they implode.

From the moment they’re born we treat them as a very delicate bundle so we do not break them. That is absolutely expected and rightfully should be how every parent is with the tiny babes.

We have found every creek and crack in our wood floors in our home since he has been born. Truly, since our son was tiny he was a great sleeper. The sleep regressions have all come and gone in their due time. They are pretty spot on with the timing!

This recent one is a doozy.

I have had a lot of time sitting on his bedroom floor to think while he falls asleep. That is when I determined a parent could be a bomb squad member.

The patience we have waiting for them to calm and fall asleep is amazing, most nights. Sitting so still and speaking so softly to them.

When holding their hand, you have to move so incredibly slow to not wake them from the feeling of your hand leaving theirs. That is tactical. I have had some nights I literally lift one single finger at a time ensuring he won’t wake at each movement.

Exiting their room in a stealth like fashion so you do not step on a creeky piece of floor to wake them. We have to move slow and steady as if we are tip toeing around landmines because that’s what they are.

Parenting takes skill and tactical moves. Like when I crawled out on all fours the other night and my husband was laughing so hard once he caught me. No video evidence because I silently threatened him as he laughed.

In reality, our real bomb squad members are amazing at what they do and for good reason. I’m not knocking anyone’s job.

As a mom who overthinks while awake during the trying times, I think of ways to lighten the stress of the situation.

Nights are tough right now for us. It is a phase, I hope, like the others we will soon have behind us. Until that time comes, we will see what other fun thoughts I can come up with!

Public Eyes

Posted on June 24, 2021 by Carly Caracciolo

I’m not refereeing to your children in this post. I’m talking about the people around you everywhere you go with your kids.

As a new parent, most of us are really nervous about taking your children out and worrying what others think of you or think of the baby that may cry or coo or have a tantrum.

I remember being so nervous about it and sweating like crazy. I wouldn’t go places by myself in such worry of what may happen. I let that get to me too much.

I remember the one evening we went to dinner and he was fussy so I quickly grabbed him and walked outside to rock him until he would calm. I try to be considerate to the best I can be. I’m not there to make anyone uncomfortable or listen to my baby cry like crazy while we all want to enjoy a nice evening out.

Another time we were in Target and our son did have a meltdown. We made a plan since I only had a few items to get. I quickly went for all the items while my husband took our son to the car and drove around while he calmed down. He still tells people how embarrassed he felt, though there is nothing you can do when they have tantrums, especially as an infant. I could hear my son all the way across the store he was so loud. WOOF!

Now that he’s a toddler, my nerves have calmed a bit and I have more of a “deal with it” attitude. He doesn’t cry like a newborn anymore, but he is a toddler and a busy guy at that. I don’t have the mentality of worrying what others think because well, most of them are parents themselves and understand that we’re doing the best we can in the situation. Also, toddlers can be jerks.

A few scenarios that have happened to us that I want to share because I’m certain you all have experienced it too.

First one, we went out a few months back when restrictions were starting to lift and had dinner with our neighbors. We went to a new restaurant together to try out and it’s a touch more upscale than other restaurants in the area but not a reason for me to think my child wouldn’t be welcomed there. Our neighbors raised two boys, so they know what it’s like going out with kids and I felt very comfortable going with them.

However, my son likes to be busy, so we brought crayons and coloring items as we usually do to occupy him. That doesn’t always work though. He was chatty with his noises and crawling around the booth a bit between us. I kept seeing this woman at a table near us give me those looks of judgement. She was there with her husband and when I say she was giving me looks, I was getting heated inside and wanted to make a comment.

I refrained because it’s always not worth it. My son wasn’t screaming, he wasn’t throwing a tantrum and he was staying within our booth. It’s up to her to stare and not enjoy herself because she’s too worried about how my kid is acting. This occurs more than you’d like it too, but I really try to not pay attention to them. I also have my husband hitting my arm saying, “knock it off.”

There’s another scenario we run into often and that is with the judgement of the younger people who do not have kids or are not around them. When I say younger, I mean 20 an under. I don’t think I’m old by any means. 😜

We went to the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium on Father’s Day. It was HOT! I’m so glad we went early because it only got hotter too and we were all sweaty by the time we left.

My son has enjoyed the zoo more every time we have gone! This time he was so excited to walk on his own most of the time and would become overwhelmed and excited with the animals he saw so he would squeal in excitement.

It was hilarious to us that he thought the animals were that cool and most parents thought it was funny too. The part where this turns is when we go into the monkey building. That cute squeal echoes inside there. We kept telling him to say “wow” or we would do the “shhh” finger move. I had one mom laugh and tell us, “Oh, he is just excited!!” Then we had a teenager and her mom eyeballing us.

To be totally fair here, we were passing people and not around most of the same people for long because he was too excited to stand still long enough to oodle at any of the monkeys. He quickly moved on to the next one! But this teenager and her mom somehow stayed close to us and I noticed the looks. I happened to fall back, and my son and husband got ahead of me. As I passed them, I hear the teenager say, “why would you let your kid keep squealing like that?” and I kept moving along.

I didn’t stick around for the mother’s response because as irritated as I was to hear that, we again were attempting to correct him since it was loud and we recognized that. She is also a teenager and I know I had once made those comments too not knowing much. There is some grace to be given in those situations.

I would really like to do a PSA for everyone around us when our kids are loud or acting out that the parents are TRYING and we don’t want to ruin your time either. Also, if you think they’re annoying, we probably already rolled our eyes and realized it ourselves. So nothing you do or say is making the situation better for anyone, especially the parents.

The last scenario is the best one and not often do not happen to us because I believe people are more afraid to say the nice things than they are to be mean to people.

We go out to dinner here and there. It’s not always easy to keep a toddler occupied and happy. We have a little pack of crayons, matchbox cars, and learning cards on hand in his diaper bag to pull out and play with at the table.

For Father’s Day we went out to Texas Roadhouse and it’s always loud in there so I’m never worried about how loud he would be. But this night, of course, had a giant backup in their kitchen for the food and it was coming out late. We were waiting much longer than usual.

My husband and I stayed on edge a little knowing we only have X amount of time until he loses all interest in sitting in that booth. We both kept playing with him whether it was passing the cars across the table, coloring, picking at the blooming onion or he pretended to tickle us. He is NOT always that pleasant and we were very thankful that he was being so good with us being there for so long.

The entire situation was solidified when a lady, who I noticed was a mom too with her husband and 2 daughters that were maybe in their early 20s. She stopped at our table before they left to tell us how good our son was being and how cute he was.

A big sigh of relief came over me and my husband as we said thank you to them. That small comment to us really means a lot when they see we were doing what we could to keep him busy during that long wait for dinner.

Again, every time we go out as a family, we are looking to enjoy ourselves as much as the next table. The public eye is always on you as a parent to make sure you’re “doing it right.”

The hardest part is to not let that pressure take over enjoying your time out together. Keep your heads up, bring some things to enjoy with the kids at the table, and understand not everyone is accepting of our choice of bringing kids to dinner but that is on them. They can be miserable if they choose to be. 😉

Mom life, Two Cents Worth of...

Two Trips Around the Sun

Posted on May 27, 2021May 26, 2021 by Carly Caracciolo

2 years. 730 days. 17,520 hours. 1,051,200 seconds.

All the moments we’ve spent loving our son since he came into this world as of May 28,^,2019. (Tomorrow for some reading this). Two years since he has been born!

I was talking with someone this past week about when it’s his turn to have kids and how excited he is. He had every question under the sun about how it is. I loved that conversation!

It brought out a side of me that simply showed how amazing motherhood is. More vaguely, parenthood.

I was always taught and brought up to know that you let others brag about your children. Mainly because you sound like a bit of an ass constantly bragging about your own kids, but also, when others say it, you can puff your chest as a proud parent in knowing you are raising a good human.

I give a little “toot toot” about my son and how much I love him, but you read my blogs about the sides of him that make me go “boy, you’re moving in with grandma tomorrow!”

I was overwhelmed with talking about how much I love parenting my son. In a good way, that it surprised even me. I think because we as adults constantly dwell on the bad side of things, rather than the best sides of things. It’s our nature.

I have had moments before where I wasn’t sure it was for me. I know my son picked me to be his mom, but I wasn’t sure I was cut out to be a mom in general. I have always wanted to be a mom but I had my doubts, which I believe is normal for some of us.

He brings out the best of it all, even the tough moments and smiling back at them.

I’m not the one who will scream, “I LOVE BEING A MOM!” It’s freaking hard and some days being a mom isn’t what you want on your to-do list. But in that conversation I had, my heart swelled so much talking about it all and truly how much I love it and most importantly, my son.

We talked about how my husband was in every moment of our son’s birth. It is one of my favorite parts of welcoming our son into the world.

My husband legitimately called out every moment like a sports broadcaster while I pushed. Ask him. It’s now funny because I told him if he again tells me the details he did then, I’ll probably ask him to shut up. 😉

Either way, our son has been bringing us literal joy, laughter, worry, memories, anger, and most importantly more love into our life for the past 2 years on this side of the world. Of course, he brought us all that while I was pregnant too.

In these past two years, they are not kidding when they say you see your heart on the outside of your body when your children are born. It continues to grow as he does. (cliché, I know!)

He knows how to make his mom smile and cry at the same time.

He is my boy. He is my husband’s buddy. He is our world.

Happy 2^nd Birthday, bubs! Mom & Dad love you!

Mom life

Sometimes We Need a Hand

Posted on May 13, 2021May 13, 2021 by Carly Caracciolo

The title is a metaphor for a story that happened last week.

We went out to dinner at a restaurant located at our mall. Afterwards we went through the mall to Target, of course. As we approached the escalator to go down a dad and two kids were ahead of us. The dad and son hopped on and down they went. The daughter froze at the top in fear and began to cry. She was maybe 7 or 8 years old.

He quickly realized he made a mistake and was in a pickle as he saw us coming up behind her and she wouldn’t move. He kept saying, “c’mon, it’s alright!”

My best guess is that he doesn’t go out with them alone much or else he would have grabbed her hand for the confidence she needed to step on it. He wasn’t anyone I’d say wouldn’t have helped her if he had known. I saw the fear and worry on his face of, “do I keep going? Do I run up? Do I ride back up?”

Before anyone comes at me for COVID rules, everyone was masked, kids included, but mine who is still too young for the restrictions.

My son was beginning to be restless himself, so my husband was carrying him through the mall, so he had him, and I was the diaper bag carrier. There was lots going on from a parent’s perspective at this moment as we got closer to the escalator and I realized the dad was stuck on what to do next.

My reaction was asking her if she would hold my hand to go down the escalator. She didn’t even look at me to know that’s all she needed. I was a perfect stranger, and she needed a hand that I was willing to offer. I did look at the dad for some form of “okay” and we rode down together.

She kept crying a bit, but she said, “I was just scared!” Girlfriend, let me tell you, I get it!

We made it down safely and back to dad and brother she went.

I relate to her in the fact that when something scary is happening, I want a hand to hold to tell me it’ll be alright, whether it’s physically or someone supporting me verbally. I want someone with the courage to tell me, “we got this!” I want someone to push me to do it even though I’m scared.

A little bit of support truly can get someone through a really tough situation. Of course, we all handle them differently but simply being there for someone can make all the difference in a situation.

I believe this goes for children, as that little story tells above that we experienced last week. They rely on us as their parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. to help them find a way through the scary and hard stuff life throws at them that they have not experienced yet.

My son is showing more and more emotion as well as using more and more words to express himself daily. We’re currently in the “no” phase.

I keep reading and watching things on how to help children develop or handle things because I don’t know what to do all the time. The things I’ve learned help in knowing that sometimes if I simply sit with him when he’s upset, that is all he needs. He doesn’t know how to handle big feelings yet and to be honest, I don’t either some days.

But if as his mom I can show him that I’m here, even after I scolded him for something, that is going to show him the support and hand is there to help him in the end to resolve the situation and I’m not simply the bad guy all the time.

I may be rambling to you, but do it, put your hand out for someone. Even if that someone is your child after a bad day at daycare or school. Show them you’re there to just sit and be there to talk about what happened and that it can be corrected or avoided.

I’ve had a few friends put their hands out for me in all forms of personal life or work life and I can’t tell you how much that’s meant to me. Also a little *high five* for my hubby because he handles me so well when I need that support.

Sometimes, we need a hand, even the little ones around us.

Mom life, Two Cents Worth of...

Creating Confidence

Posted on April 29, 2021 by Carly Caracciolo

I am 33 years old and I struggle with my own confidence. However, what I don’t want is my own child to as he grows up.

The world we’re in is mean. It’s unforgiving. It is unfair to anyone who wants to and should love themselves for who they are and what they look like. To boot, we have social media that makes everything worse.

I want to teach my son everything I can about loving himself for who he is and what he looks like.

My husband and I have conversations constantly of how we want to raise him and what we can do to nurture him to be who he can be. Remember, we’re first-time parents and we don’t know much other than we want to raise a kind human who loves himself and others around him.

Children are the fastest learners and are sponges when it comes to what they see and hear. The struggle of ensuring that we are doing and what we are saying in front of him that harness what we want him to see is there every day. We both make comments on our own appearance and how we feel that we never realized before were so effective to how he perceives us.

I have had to change my own views of myself in the short 2 years that he has been here. My husband even corrected me recently on something I said out loud. In relation to the scale, but let me tell you how we help our son see himself as strong using that scale already.

We have a scale in our room we step on from time to time and our son does too. When he hops on it, I quickly ask him, “How strong are you today?!” It takes a moment to get him to uncover the weight since he thinks it’s cool to step on the light-up part. But that’s what I want him to know when we weigh ourselves, that it’s about our strength and not the actual weight.

That’s exactly what my husband told me recently when I stepped on the scale and wasn’t too happy about it. He reminded me by asking, “how strong are you today?” And I just smiled because he is right. How can we teach our kid that if we don’t believe it either?

Another story to add that he does what he sees us doing.

I started another workout program that I do in our basement. The other evening, he was full of energy and I was preparing to go downstairs and get my workout in. Most days I do it when he’s napping or too early that he’s not awake yet, but I was lazy this day, so the evening was the best time to get it in.

I invited him to join me and come workout with mama. In his little head, he hears time with me and quickly agrees, plus there are toys in the basement he doesn’t see as often as others he has upstairs!

We started the workout, and the warmup began. He watched me do a jump rope action as well as high knees and attempted both. I wish I had recorded it but the pure joy I got out of watching him try to jump and then step those tiny knees as high as he could was perfection. He was so proud of himself to keep up with me and what we were mimicking on the TV.

Of course, his attention went off to his toys most of the time during this workout and he got into other things. I would continue to invite him to join me on things I thought he may want to try. He in turn did join a few more times but not on most of it because toys are cooler than goofy moves with mom.

He gave push-ups a try, which that cute butt goes straight in the air as he tries. Then he did mountain climbers. That was easily my favorite one of the day. He ended up laying on the floor and kicking his feet like he was swimming. After each one we high fived and he would sometimes give me a “YEAH!” with his little fists in the air.

The point is that he followed mama trying to workout and keep her own confidence and health in check while we cheered one another on as we did it.

If it’s normal to them to treat themselves this way and see you do it too, they’re going to continue to build that confidence we all know we need.

Oh yeah, one more thing I did with him the other week that made me smile. He spotted himself in my full-length mirror and was smiling. I made sure to ask him to blow himself a kiss and say, “I love you!” and it came out, “lahh you!”

I was surprised he actually did it but man, did that make my heart explode. I need to do this too when I see myself in the mirror.

Again, not every day is this way that we instill the best ideas that come to mind. We’re human, we have bad days, he does too. I’m harder on myself than I ever should be, but I really hope as parents we can work on ourselves and teach him how great he is and how strong he is in every way.

Do what you can to help those little minds develop self confidence in any way you can.

Also, go to the mirror and blow yourself a kiss while saying, “I love you!” 😊 You deserve it.

I’m interested to know if you use any techniques, sayings, or routines of any kind to help instill confidence in yourself or your children! Please feel free to share in the comments so we can all learn and help our children grow with strong confidence in themselves.